Deer Hunting Woes In Michigan

You Might Be A Special Kind Of Stupid If You Do Any Of These:

1 – Tampons are not to be used as scent wicks for Whitetail Deer Hunting!  Tampons contain chemicals to control bacteria and odor and they often contain a strong unnatural scent.  So you just used one with a strong “fresh scent” added smell to put some “doe in heat” scent on?  Good Luck with that.

2 – Proper placement and use of deer attractant.  Hanging that fresh scent tampon about 6 inches above the ground on a random fallen tree branch, won’t be of much use for anything.  That fancy expensive scent dripper bottle that you just filled with one of the most expensive bottles of deer scent and then hung to the side of a tree about 2 feet above the ground, won’t be of much use for anything.  Until you understand the concept of scent trails, mock scrapes, natural scrapes, licking branches, the way the scent will travel on the breeze and be picked up by the deer, not much point in wasting your time and money hunting.

3 – There are two clearly marked active hunting blinds setting about 150 yards apart on a ridge top.  You take your fresh scent tampon and hang it on the ridge bottom in between these two blinds and within visual and gun range of both of them.   Need glasses?

4 – You arrive in the woods before dawn on the opening day of firearm season and proceed to take off all your blaze orange clothing and wait for dawn sitting in the brush wearing your full camo clothing.   Or you come and sit down about 75 yards from a hunter in their blind and proceed to take off your orange blaze and are now in your brown wool hat and coat.  The blaze orange requirement is in place for your safety.  Dangerous lack of common sense on your part.

5 – Shooting at anything that moves in the woods just leaves me speechless and scared to be in the same vicinity.

6 – Crashing your way through an impassable thick swamp 1 hour before dusk, at the prime time for deer movement, with no clue where you are going and making so much noise that you just scared every deer out of the area.  Then to top that spectacle off you spend the last half hour with your phone beeping and buzzing to make sure you scare every deer out of the area that may not have heard you as you came crashing through.  And the whole time you have no clue that you are sitting less than 75 yards away from another hunter.  Now it is dark and you have no clue how to find your way back out of the thick swamp.  Was it embarrassing needing that girl hunter to lead you back out?

7 – Mixing alcohol and firearms with the adrenaline rush of hunting.  There doesn’t even exist the correct words in any language to describe your kind of stupid.

8 - Sitting twenty yards from another hunter’s blind, ½ hour before daylight, wailing away on a fawn bleat call imitating a fawn in their death throes.  Clueless!

9 – In a vast area of state forest land, with no other hunter for at least a mile in every direction, you decide to go and set your pop up blind 20 yards away from the only other hunter there.  Really?

10 – You can clearly see a hunter sitting in their blind.  Instead of just going and asking the hunter how the deer movement is, you proceed to walk up and down each one of the deer trails surrounding their blind checking for deer tracks.  When you find the huge natural scrape in a clear shooting line from their blind, you stand in that scrape for a good 5 minutes staring at it as if you have never seen one in your entire life.  Get out into the woods much?

11 – You find another hunters blind and when you see the fresh scrape and buck rub right in front of their blind, you decide that is a good place to relieve your bowels.  Disgusting!

12 – You see another hunter sitting in a blind over a well-used deer crossing point.  You then proceed to set your young hunting companion right in that hunters line of site and within their gun range, on the other side of that deer crossing, in the only open space to get a shot at those deer.  Now neither hunter can shoot at the deer without risking hitting the other hunter.  You then proceed to spend the next several hours walking and crashing through the woods around the two hunters.  You are clearly a dangerous kind of stupid.

13 – You see a deer running though some thickets or woods and you empty your firearm shooting at the deer, with no clear opening or a clean kill shot.  Hoping just to hit the deer, doesn’t matter if you gut shoot it, hit the leg, you don’t seem to care.  Then after you half ass wound the poor deer, you lack the skill or humanity to blood trail that wounded deer and just leave it to slowly die and die for nothing.  You shouldn’t even be allowed to hunt!

14 – You see a female hunter that has just shot a nice buck and you try to claim it was the buck you just shot in the leg a hundred or so yards away.  How did that work out for you?  Best not to try and steal a girl’s buck!

15 – You decide to go out onto state forest land on the opening day of firearm deer season, with guns that are illegal to have in the woods during deer season and wearing no blaze orange.  You and your inbred companion think it will be funny to use a deer hunter as a running living target in the woods.  You are not just stupid, you are insane.  The next hunter you try that on may decide to start firing back and then you will become the prey.

Sadly there is an endless list of the special kind of stupid people you find out in the woods during hunting season.  Sadly some of the hunters I come across now a days lack the proper knowledge or understanding of the wildlife they are hunting.  The saddest part is that some of them lack any kind of hunting ethics; towards the wildlife they are hunting, towards their fellow sportsman, even towards the natural environment they are hunting in.